A personal development course · by Haz Khan
Who Is Driving Your Life?
Discover the survival identity that has been running your life, reclaim the gifts it recruited, and return, step by step, to the driver’s seat.
Is this you?
Your life works. It just doesn’t feel like yours.
You may have read the books, done the therapy, understood your patterns — and still find yourself managing your life rather than living it.
“I’m always the one who holds everything together. People rely on me. And somewhere along the way, I stopped knowing what I actually want.”
— the kind of voice this course was built for
- You’re the reliable one, the strong one, the one who copes
- Rest feels like something you have to earn
- You read the room before you read yourself
- Success brings relief, but rarely joy
- “Life feels managed, not inhabited”
The idea at the heart of the course
What feels like personality is often position
Long ago, you learned a way of being that kept you safe.
It kept you belonging. It proved your worth.
It worked — so well that it became “who you are”.
But it was never the whole of you.
This course doesn’t ask you to fight that part of yourself. It helps you stop mistaking it for yourself.
How the course works
One idea. One reflection. One small experiment. Every week.
Insight alone rarely changes a lifelong pattern. Lived experience does. So every module ends with something to do, not just something to understand.
Learn
Short videos teaching one idea from Trauma Vacuum Theory™ in plain, everyday language.
Follow Leila
A chapter of one woman’s journey back to herself, showing each idea in a real life.
Reflect
A guided workbook exercise that builds your own personal map, week by week.
Live it
One small, safe experiment at the edge of the familiar, noticed and logged.
Change happens nearer the edge of the familiar, not through trying harder.
What you’ll learn
Nine modules, from survival to return
The course follows the arc of The Missing Layer in Therapy, translated for everyday life.
Module 0
Who is driving your life?
How the course works, how to pace it gently, and meeting Leila.
Try: notice one moment you’re running on autopilot.
Module 1
What wholeness feels like
Wholeness is your ground, not a goal. Why relief is not the same as aliveness.
Try: ten minutes of something with no purpose at all.
Module 2
How we gradually leave ourselves
How small, sensible adaptations slowly move survival into the driver’s seat.
Try: catch the pause between feeling and checking.
Module 3
Meet your survival identity
The three concerns — Safety, Belonging, Worth — and the eight patterns. Find your own.
Try: watch your pattern for a week without changing it.
Module 4
What it promises, and what it costs
The hidden contract beneath your pattern, and why resentment appears when it breaks.
Try: notice what you expect in return for over-giving.
Module 5
Your conscripted gifts
Which of your strengths are serving protection, and how to choose them freely again.
Try: use one gift purely for enjoyment.
Module 6
Listening to the signals
Emotions, body sensations and language as messages, not problems to fix.
Try: ask “what is this showing me?” instead of “how do I stop it?”
Module 7
The loop, and why willpower fails
Core fear, relief as the lock, and why you are not failing by not changing faster.
Try: name the relief that follows a familiar pattern.
Module 8
The pause, and the return
Small moments of authorship, what to expect as change happens, and recognising return.
Try: one honest “Actually, I’d rather not.”
What you’ll take away
Your personal TVT workbook
Across the course you build a set of practical tools that stay with you long after the final module.
Survival Identity Profile
Your primary pattern, its supporting patterns, and the concern they organise around.
My Identity Map
A simple map of how your pattern formed, and what keeps it in place today.
Hidden Contract
“If I keep being ___, then I will be ___” — and what happens when the deal breaks.
Gift Audit
Each of your strengths placed on the line between protection and free expression.
Signal Journal
A daily practice for reading emotion, body and language as guidance.
Markers of Return
Seven ways to recognise the self coming back — without turning it into a score.
Two ways to take the course
Learn at your own pace, or together
The same course content in both formats. The live cohort adds weekly time with Haz and a small group to be met by.
Self-paced
The Online Course
In your own time, from anywhere
- All nine modules on video
- Leila’s story, module by module
- Downloadable personal workbook and tools
- Weekly lived experiments
- Modules released weekly, so you move at a gentle pace
- Lifetime access
Founding price announced to the waitlist
Join the self-paced waitlistLive cohort · limited places
The Live Cohort
Ten weeks, together, with Haz Khan
- Everything in the self-paced course
- Weekly 75-minute live group call with Haz
- A small group of 12–20 people
- Space to share your weekly experiments and be met
- Private cohort community
- Call recordings for your cohort
Founding cohort dates announced soon
Join the cohort waitlistWaitlist members hear first about dates and founding prices. No obligation to enrol.
Safety comes first
This is an educational personal development course, not therapy, and it is not a substitute for professional mental-health care. It is designed to be gentle:
- Every exercise looks at your patterns today. You will never be asked to relive or write about painful past events.
- A short check-in before you join helps make sure the course is right for you at this time.
- You’ll be prepared in advance for the feelings that can come with real change, such as moments of emptiness or a pull back toward old habits, so they don’t catch you off guard.
- Clear guidance on what to do, and where to turn, if the material brings up more than you expected.
If you are currently in crisis, please contact your GP, NHS 111, or the Samaritans on 116 123 (UK), or your local emergency services.
Questions
Frequently asked
Do I need to have read the book?
No. The course teaches everything you need in plain language. The Missing Layer in Therapy is a rich companion if you want to go deeper.
I’ve already had therapy. Is this still for me?
Very often, yes. Trauma Vacuum Theory™ was developed for people who have done real work on themselves and still feel something is missing. The course focuses on the layer many approaches leave untouched: who is organising your life.
Is this therapy?
No. It is an educational course. It can sit alongside therapy, and if you want deeper one-to-one work, sessions with Haz are available through Haz Therapy.
How much time will it take each week?
Around one to two hours: 20–30 minutes of video, a reflection exercise, and a small experiment woven into your ordinary week. Cohort members add a 75-minute live call.
Which format should I choose?
Choose self-paced if you like to learn independently or live in a different time zone. Choose the live cohort if you’d value accountability, live teaching and the experience of being met by others on the same path.
I’m a therapist. Is this the practitioner training?
No. This course is for personal development. If you want to use TVT with clients, see the TVT Practitioner Training.
Your guide
Haz Khan
Haz is the creator of Trauma Vacuum Theory™, a framework that grew from thousands of therapy sessions and one persistent question: why do people who have done so much good work still feel they are not fully living their own lives? This course brings that answer out of the consulting room and into everyday life.
- Award-winning holistic therapist and transformational coach
- 150+ five-star client reviews
- Author of The Missing Layer in Therapy and other books on trauma, identity and healing
- Founder of Haz Therapy, London — haztherapy.com
Ready to return to the driver’s seat?
Join the waitlist
Be the first to hear about the founding cohort and the self-paced launch. No obligation to enrol.
Thank you — you’re on the list
You’ll be the first to hear about dates and founding prices for Who Is Driving Your Life?
Questions? Email info@haztherapy.com